My negative thoughts are eating me alive. Some of you know about it, most of you don’t. I’m not going to go into detail here. What I am going to tell you is what I did to stop it.
First, I wrote down the most prominent thoughts that had been plaguing me. The ones that were going to destroy me from the inside out.
There were twelve. Then, I sealed them in an envelope.
After setting up a pickle jar, and some chairs for viewing,
we lit that envelope on fire.
Then, we just sat in silence. Well, as silent as you can get across from a busy interstate. It was just me, Richie, and the man in the moon.
Then, I spread the ashes. It’ll make good fertilizer. Don’t tell my landlord.
While writing this, I tried to come up with a poignant closing. And all I could come with is that negative thoughts are negative. They lie to you, they will tear you apart. Some people are better able to deal with them than others. Richie just ignores them. They have no place in his life. Me? I have been fighting with them for a long time. I don’t know if this is the end. I feel no different. No weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don’t breathe easier. Kind of hard with smoke blowing in your face.
Richie: “You should do this often. If you do this more than once, you’ll get used to the idea, you’ll be able to reflect more often.”
That boy is just looking for a bonfire.