Multnomah Shawl

I’ve made two of these. I was going through my old posts to find the one I made for Aunt Sheree for Christmas to link in this post when I realized I didn’t write a post for that.

So this will be an all inclusive Multnomah Shawl post.

I found this pattern by accident. I was working on a Cascade pattern that just wasn’t working out. The math in the pattern wasn’t adding up. When the two knitting ninjas (Kara and Joelle) told me it was the pattern, not me, I felt better and broke up with Cascade. Kara recommended the Multnomah because it was easy. Garter stitch and then feather and fan at the bottom. I was a little intimidated, but once I got going, it proved to be very simple. I don’t think I can thank Kara enough for that.

Aunt Sheree’s:



Catherine’s (which I made for her birthday)





I’m pleased that the shawls fit them, and that they both loved them. They are two great people to knit for because they are so appreciative of what I make for them. And that’s such a great feeling. Love you both!


Labeling My Sexuality

I brought this up at Knit Night tonight because it’s a safe place for me. I feel like I can bring certain things up and not be judged (at least, not to my face) and I won’t be shamed out of the room.

I was in my mid 20s when I noticed that I like girls. I was friends with a girl in college and I really wanted to date her. I would have asked her out but she had a girlfriend. It wasn’t just her looks- she was smart and funny as well.

A few years later, I became attracted to a barista who was a girl. I was already with Richie, so I couldn’t ask her out. She has since transitioned to a guy, and I am unfortunately no longer attracted to her. We still flirt whenever we see each other, though.

I’m sure you’re thinking, “Well, you’re bi. Duh.” Maybe not. I was reading some fan fiction and came across asexuality. I looked it up, and also found heteroflexibilty, which means that I’m attracted to both genders but I’m not bi because I haven’t actually had a relationship with a girl.

I kissed a girl when I was younger but I hated it because we were performing for boys and it had nothing to do with desire.

I was talking about this with Zombie (who identifies as asexual lesbian) and she said that I could identify as bi. Anyone who says I have to specifically label as heteroflexible is a gatekeeper of the LGBTQIA community (no, the A does not stand for ally) and that they are an asshole.

I read more fan fiction by this author (JongTae for the win!) and came across pansexual, demisexual, homoromantic, aromantic, etc. I think pansexual is the closest label to what I am. From all the definitions I have come across, I understand that it means I’m sexually and aesthetically attracted to pretty much everyone- men, women, androgynous people, genderfluid people, people who don’t identify. If you’re pretty- I’m gonna ogle you. There are some people I look at and think, “You’re really good looking.” Then there are some people I look at and think, “You are really hot. I would bone the shit out of you if I was single.”

Then Zombie said that it was incorrect. Fuck, what the hell am I? Then Mindy asked if I needed a label. I had been thinking about that, and I found myself wondering, do any of us need labels? I mean sure, it might be nice to have a name for the feelings you have, but is it necessary? Or is it required by straight people who have the need to categorize and put everyone in a specific box so that they can have a better handle on their surroundings?


Anyways, fuck labels. I’m attracted to everyone I find beautiful and lovely. But if you insist on putting me in a box- first of all, fuck you. Second of all, check me as pan.


Today Richie and I celebrate eight years, and it just completely blows my mind. I know, I know, I say that every year. But every year it’s true!

Especially these last few months. Things are so hard and yet somehow we always manage to figure out a way to come out the other side. We make such an excellent team. We take great care of each other.

I’d like to thank Kara for introducing me to the term dork mate, because that’s what Richie really is. You don’t want a soul mate- that’s too much pressure. But a dork mate? Someone you can goof off with, who will make you laugh until it hurts, who likes the same nerdy stuff you do (or at least tolerates it), and who doesn’t make funny of you for venturing into something new (beard club! fan fiction!). I don’t think I laugh harder with anyone else, or have more fun with anyone else.

We’ve cleaned up vomit; wiped away tears; met each other’s families; broken down; built back up, and I’m still as happy as I was all those years ago. I don’t know how I lucked into something so brilliant, but I’m not letting go anytime soon. I have a koala grip on him and there’s no letting go.


(Us, circa 2007)