R.I.P. Kim Jonghyun


My beautiful boy. You pure, sweet soul. My heart just breaks for you. We will all miss you so desperately. I’m sorry you lost your battle, but it was valiantly fought.


To any readers and fans out there:

It is with an obviously heavy heart that I have to write this. This has been such a hard day. I currently have two Jonghyun fics in progress, and I am discontinuing them. It just feels wrong to write them. Maybe I’ll pick them up again in the future, but I have no idea when.

I will keep them posted for anyone who may need them. And I am always available for anyone who needs to talk, or just needs someone to listen. I’m here. You’re not alone.


My heart aches for his mother, his sister, his bandmates, even little Roo.


This world is so much darker without you in it. You did so well, my darling. You were so good.


Choi Seunghyun

By now, we have all heard the awful news about Choi Seunghyun. As if it wasn’t bad enough he was busted doing drugs, he ended up in the hospital.


As of right now, all of my fics with him as a main character are on hiatus. I just don’t feel comfortable writing him while his life is in such a precarious position. I will work on my JRock fics, and my non-Top Kpop fics.


I am not okay with him smoking weed. It is not as dangerous as alchool or other drugs (I am of the opinion it should be legalized but that’s a whole different discussion) but it is illegal and he shouldn’t have been doing it. As such, he should face the consequences. He knew what he was doing was wrong.


HOWEVER. Telling someone to kill themselves, telling someone their mother should be sorry she had him is NOT OKAY. He’s human. He makes mistakes. What is wrong with you? Not everyone is strong enough to blow those words off. And we know Top has had similar issues in the past.

Actually, I do know what is wrong with you. You build these guys up so much in your heads that you forget that they are human, that they are everyday people like you and me. And when they make that human mistake, you feel betrayed, so you say such awful things. Which in turn makes you awful.

If you wouldn’t want someone to say it to you, or your bestie, it is not okay to say it to anyone else.


I support T.O.P.



2016 Goals

I don’t do resolutions anymore. I set goals for myself- easier to keep.

Last year’s goals came out 50/50- I’ve gotten better at keeping track of my knitting projects, but I didn’t find a new job. However, I made it to full time, so that’s good enough for me.


Two goals again for this year:

  1. Knit a blanket. Not a baby blanket- a fully grown blanket for me. It’s also on my Winter Bucket List, so that makes extra accountability. Of course, it will be my first pattern after finishing Vee’s scarf, so that shouldn’t be a problem.
  2. No more knitting for Kpop idols. Yeah, I still haven’t seen it on him and it’s been FIVE. RUDDY. MONTHS. I don’t know how long it takes for an idol to get something, but I am so over it. That thing took eleven days and there were beads. BEADS. *hmf* No more knitting for Kpop idols.



Also, I have done several things for my Winter Bucket List, I just haven’t blogged them yet. I fully intend to in the coming days. Okay?

Project G-Dragon

Someone talk me out of this. This is not a good idea. I swear, I do not know what I’m thinking.

So, I’m a knitter and a k-pop fan. Lauren and I often joke that we know that we’re way too into k-pop when we walk into a yarn store and start picking out yarn for various idols.

“Red lace for Heechul!”

“Bright neon everything for G-Dragon! They’ll be able to see him from space!”

But now it’s gotten out of hand. A few days ago I was cruising along on tumblr, and found this pattern.

The Dragon’s Breath Cowl.

My first thought was, “Oh, that would be cool for G-Dragon.” I mentioned it my Twitter friends who are in love with him. I had gotten the idea to knit it for him but figured he already had five thousand of these things.

Arwa, Ibby, Vee, Rachel, and Lauren have all said that I need to knit this cowl and ship it to his record label.

I’ve already bought the yarn, but I still have some supplies to go.

Why am I doing this? I mean, seriously, what do I expect? I mean, I doubt he’ll even get it. And if he does, I seriously doubt he’d wear it in public.

It’s LACE WORK. With BEADS. And a chart. I can’t read charts.

This is the most involved, difficult project I think I’ve ever done, and this dude isn’t even my bias! (don’t tell Heechul what I’m knitting)

If I complete this and he doesn’t wear it I’m going to be pissed as hell.

The ladies mentioned above have all assured me he’s knit worthy. He damn well better be.

I’ll be updating all of you on the progress of this project (no I won’t be changing the name). So far all I’ve done is print the pattern and buy the yarn


Now remember, yarn color changes from screen to screen, and in various light. That blue? It’s actually purple. It’s Ella Rae Lace Merino. I’m going to slightly alter the size because G-Dragon is a tiny little thing.

Okay, fine, it’s because I have slightly less yarn than the pattern calls for.

But G-Dragon is still rather petite but since it’s a cowl it doesn’t really matter.


How bonkers is this shit?


Sunday Confessions- KPop

Yes, it had to happen eventually. Shut up.



1) Kim Heechul is my ultimate bias forever. We could never be a couple because there can only be one diva in a relationship, and we both fill that role. The sex would be off the hook though. (sorry, Mom) He’d be my best bitchy girlfriend.


2) I’m an ELF. Specifically, a Petal.

3) I love the Big Bang fandom, but their music doesn’t really do anything for me. Except TOP’s rapping. Because duh. (If any of my BB Twitter girls are reading this, please don’t hate me) I’ve often said I’d rather meet by BB Twitter girls than the idols themselves. The first time I really became aware of any group outside of Super Junior is from fan fiction. Yeah. But the boys are sexy as hell.

4) I love EXO’s music, but their fandom is absolutely batshit. And there’s not really a nice way to say that. And I know they’re not all bad, and I shouldn’t lump of them together. But still. Some of them are… enthusiastic.

5) It was so hard for me for so long to accept Taemin growing up, because he started so young and he’s so god damn pretty.


Then I saw Taemin’s Danger video. Yeah, you’re all grown up now, baby boy. Wait til I get my hands on you.


Here’s some puppy dog eyes for you